- Ask if we are okay. We are aware it’s very much obvious that we’re not okay. But ask anyway. This gives us the opportunity to word vomit all over you about why we’re upset, who upset us, why we feel this way… even if you don’t really want to listen just nod and say “it’s okay” or “that sucks” every so often. Even if it’s not okay and it doesn’t even suck, again – we’re aware of this but it makes it sound like you care, so just roll with it.
- Hug us. This needs to pretty much come immediately after point 1, 90% of the time it might even need to be at the same time. We’re 0.9767 seconds away from bursting into a full blown Kim K ugly cry now, and the last thing we want is for that to happen while you’re staring us in the eye. We know – it ain’t pretty! So be quick and get in there with the hug, then we can ugly cry into your shoulder instead. Don’t worry – we’ll wash the mascara stains out of your shirt later.
- Get us a treat. Chocolate, ice cream, hot drink, Lift Plus… whatever floats your gals boat – get it. ASAP. (Note: not YOUR idea of a treat either AKA “lets go to bed babe”. Don’t even think about suggesting that right now). The ugly cry is over but that doesn’t mean we’re not still dwelling on all the things we word vomited in point 2 and our head is still a foggy mess of emotions. Bonus points if we have kids and you take them out for even just half an hour, to give us a moment to breathe.
- The next day… The next day reassure us that you were semi listening to our emotional word vomit the day prior, a quick “Hope you have a better day today” or maybe leave a note on the bench if you leave early – don’t wake us up to say that. It’s cute, but not THAT cute.
- Not quite out of the woods. When you get home from work that evening (day after meltdown), ask us how our day was. I’m warning you though, this could go one of two ways. Either you will be back at point 2 very quickly… OR you will be thankfully greeted with “Better, thanks for caring babe!
Lets have sex tonight.” Good luck if it goes the first way!Happy wife, happy life – am I right?